Frustrated but proud

Hey everyone! Well, the marathon is over!!! My finish time?

It depends on who you ask, actually...
According to the chip: 5:46:43
According to my Garmin: 5:42:39

I'm not sure what happened there since that's a pretty big difference. I know I hit start when I crossed the starting line and stop when I crossed the finish, so I'm not sure. Oh well...

Either way, on the surface, I didn't meet my goal time of 5:30:00.

For that fact, I'm a little disappointed but when I tell you about the race, you'll understand why I'm still proud of that time.

Here are the goods sitting on the kitchen counter:

Me punching my husband and doing some kind of dance this morning and chanting, "Are you ready? Are you pumped? You're running a marathon today..." Notice his face in this picture. He's totally just ignoring me like he normally does when I act like a dork like this.



Waiting in line for the potty... my hubby being the dork this time:



The race was really two separate halves.

The first half, I felt AMAZING! I was slightly ahead of the 5:00:00 pace team, which is where I wanted to be b/c I knew I would probably slow down toward the end, but they wouldn't. I kept looking down and my splits were DEAD ON where I wanted to be. In fact, my average pace for the first half (they had a mat at 13.1 miles) was 11:25/mile! It could not have been MORE perfect!

I felt strong. I felt confident. I was talking with people, cheering others on, and having fun!

At mile 14.8, it all changed.

Without warning, I got a cramp in my right calf. You know the kind where your toes curl up and you can't move? Yeah, that kind.

It sucked. I dropped to the ground and instantly began stretching. It took a few minutes, but finally the cramp went away. I walked to mile 15 and then decided to start jogging again.

I could feel the "almost cramp" coming. I ran/walked until the medical aid station at mile 16 and asked if they could do anything for leg cramps. They massaged them and sent me on my way.

I felt good when I left and picked up the pace again. I only made it a half a mile before the cramp came back.

Damn.

I stopped again at the aid station at mile 18, making it through mile 17 with a walk/run combo- running for as far as I could before the cramp hit, then walking to prevent it from getting worse. Of course, I would stretch here and there but that only seemed to make it worse to be honest. The med aid station at mile 18 massaged it better than the last one and used ice to work out the tightness.

I left and felt good.

Running again, here we go... let's do this... except I only made it 1/2 a mile before it hit again.

Damn.

From there, I stopped at every aid station from mile 16 to the finish. There were 6 of them! I spent approximately 4-5 minutes at each one, just having them massage my calves, give me water and salt packets, and ice.

I can honestly say that the last 10 miles of the race were the longest of my life. I was able to run about 1/4 mile before walking 1/10th of a mile and then repeating. It sucked. I slowly watched my 5:00:00 time slip by, then 5:15:00- knowing I couldn't manage the pace necessary to finish at those times. Then I saw my precious 5:30:00 slip by. It sucked.

After the aid station at mile 24 I walked off with two ice packs taped to my calves. And yes, I stopped at an aid station 2.2 miles from the finish not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I couldn't walk at some points because even walking stressed my calves so much.

Here's me just after the finish with my ice packs:


Looking good right?

So, I didn't meet my time and I didn't exaclty enjoy the last 10 miles... so what do I have to be proud of you may ask? A few things...

1. Given I spent 30 minutes at med aid stations and I missed my goal time by 16 (or 12) minutes, I would have crushed my goal otherwise.

2. Going over my routine for today, I mimicked my training runs identically. I ran an 18-miler and a 20-miler before today and didn't have a problem with cramping. Then today I have a problem before hitting mile 15??? I can't pinpoint anything that I did wrong (or different) to cause this so I can't beat myself up. It was bad luck. It sucks, but it was just bad luck. The last time I had a cramp was in 8th grade during volleyball and I remember it vividly. It was painful but that was also the LAST TIME this happened. Why today? I'm not sure...

3. There were times when I could not walk, let alone run... yet I can honestly say, I never thought about quitting. Ever. I remember thinking at mile 20 (with over SIX miles LEFT!), "Oh my god, I'm going to crawl across the finish line... I'm going to look like an idiot."

But you know what, even then in my mind, I was finishing. Even as I saw my goal times slip by my grasp, I was determined to finish the race.

When I was at mile 21.2, I had exactly 5 miles left. I looked around and saw other people hitting their walls and part of me realized that I should have hit a wall miles ago. This thought was ENCOURAGING! I started to jog again and said out loud, "Watch me make this happen."

I cried when I crossed the finish because I was so proud of myself. Not just proud because I just finished my first marathon, or because I didn't have to crawl on my hands and knees in front of thousands of spectators, but proud because I overcame serious physical challenges and still made it happen. And even more proud because I never considered quitting.

Now that it's a few hours after the race, I think I'm more proud because of what I was able to accomplish than I would be if I had finished in under 5:30:00 or 5:00:00 even.

I was mentally prepared for my knees or hips to hurt today. I was ready for that and I was convinced that I was going to run through the pain- after all, it's only one day, it's only one race, and my legs are still moving. But with cramping, it's a whole different ball game. You can't move your legs. You just drop to the ground and wait it out. Besides what I did, I couldn't prepare for what happened today. When it happened, I changed my strategy to a run/walk combo and did what I had to do to finish. I didn't let it bring me down and for that, I'm extremely proud of myself.

But, I will say this... you know how I wrote earlier about how I don't know if I will do another marathon? yeah right. I feel cheated. I know I can do better and you better believe I'm going to prove it.

Bring on the marathons...







Kelsalynn
PS: Official results are not yet posted on their website so I don't know how where I placed in my age group, women overall, or total participants just yet. Once it's posted, I will update!