Pissed

No, I didn't hit my goal of 2 hours at today's half-marathon.

Time = 2:15:18

No, I'm not happy about it.

I'm frustrated.

Frustrated that my body is just not meant to do this. I look around and see all of these people who have TERRIBLE FORM yet have no problems. I try to have proper form and my calves, hips, and knees just don't cooperate.

I honestly don't know what else to do. I'm obviously not meant to run, or at least physically I'm not.

The quick of it (full race report to come, but I need to take a shower first):
Started off great... felt great
Ran great until about halfway... started to get some aches and pains in my calves and my knees.

Pushed through it until mile 8 or 9 (can't remember) when my knee just buckled. I'm glad Michael was with me b/c he saw it. I'm not making this shit up. It just BUCKLES (it won't bend).

I ran miles 9-11 in pain but still at an okay pace. I knew I probably wasn't going to hit my 2 hour mark, but there was still that chance b/c I know I'm in good enough shape cardiovascularly to really push hard at the end. So, I just kept on, doing what I could with the pain.

At mile 11, calf cramp.

At mile 12, knee buckle... a good one. A dabilitating one.

Do you know how frustrating it is to WANT to run but you can't?

Argh. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of racing and finishing in this manner. I'm sick of being less than a mile from the finish but physically not being able to run.

Michael says, "But you have heart Kelsa, that's what's important."

Bull shit. Take my heart and give me a lower half that doesn't suck big time.

I'll post my splits and a full race report shortly... you'll see when I tanked w/ my splits first hand.

Kelsalynn