"Let your food be your medicine..."

To say that my diet has faltered in the past month would be an understatement. I keep saying I need to get it under control, but then nothing changes.

Let me say that I still think Michael and I eat better than most people. I know this, you don't have to tell me this. But lately I've been eating worse and it could definitely be better. Plus, I want to figure out how to get it under control before it continues to get worse. I want to fix it now before it gets so out of control that it's harder to fix. This blog is just my thoughts- I've been having them for a while, it's time to put them out there, in writing.

I went from never cheating even once in July to October being one of my unhealthiest months (eating-wise) and November is right up there with October. What a big difference in the matter of a few months!

It's a slippery slope you know? I probably had a piece of cake one afternoon that someone brought in, then the next day your body craves that sugar at that time again. So maybe you give in, maybe you don't. Chances are, I did, then the next day the craving shows up again, but more intense.

That all leads to this past Friday, a bunch of people went to In-N-Out Burger and I tagged along. I had a burger, fries, and pop. That's unheard of for me! But I did it without questioning why or how I'd feel afterwards. There was no hesitation. And I had a lunch in the fridge that was perfectly Zone that I could have eaten.

I strongly believe in the saying that what you put in your body one day affects it the next. Yesterday my workout was pure shit and I think it was directly related to the fat-filled, greasy food I had eaten the day before. Not to mention that Friday afternoon I was completely unmotivated and had no energy after lunch. How stupid of me.

I feel so much better when I eat healthy. I have more energy, I feel more motivated, I think more clearly. Then why have I stopped? These splurges I have of treats that people bring to the office do nothing for me or my body- the only thing they do is satisfy a craving temporarily and simultaneously assure it will come back later.

I need to shock my body back into zone-only foods. That one little Starburst candy in the afternoon affects my body's need and desire for sugar. So even if it's only one little candy, it absolutely makes it difficult for me to keep my diet under control.

I need to re-read this blog when I think eating a cupcake that someone brings in is a good idea. It always seems like no big deal at the time but then I find myself craving that kind of food later.

I know I'm going to say this and some of my friends are going to laugh, but I feel like the past 6 weeks, I've lost control. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize not in the way it sounds- I'm not some drug addict that has no control, I still have SOME control. I get that, but I've lost quite a bit.

I've overspent in my budget. I've cheated on my diet. My workouts haven't been as disciplined.

I'm putting this out there and want you to help me stay accountable-
I cannot eat out anymore this month. I can't. It's not in the diet and not in the budget. I've already spent all of my "spending money" for the month (plus some) so it truly cannot happen.

Effective immediately, no more treats. Thanksgiving is coming up and I will allow a treat then, which is why it's important for me to be disciplined up until then and afterwards.

No more overspending. The two are very related. Don't think I haven't noticed that my first bad month of eating was also my first month being debt free. It was easy to say no to eating out, etc when it wasn't budgeted. Just because I have $40/month to spend however I want, doesn't mean I should choose fast food.

I also think it's all related to how stressed out and overwhelmed I've been at work since October started. I come home from work and have no energy. It takes a lot of discipline and energy to be in control of your diet and spending and lately, I just haven't had it. I've just been too exhausted to focus on anything outside of work and it shows.

Okay, I've had 6 weeks of stupid eating and stupid spending, time to get it back under control.

Sorry this has been diarrhea of my mouth!

Kelsalynn