Just for blogville...

For those of you not on Twitter, today I provided readers with another episode of "the JaneDickey Show". In case you didn't know, Jane is my Mother-In-Law (MIL). In case you also didn't know, the woman never stops talking.  Ever. No lie.

If she thinks it, she says it.  No exceptions.

Once upon a time, (last Christmas in fact) while sitting down to watch one of the more recent Batman movies, I blogged about all of the questions/comments she had during the movie. It was horrendous.

This afternoon, we drove 45 minutes to an Olive Mill together. If watching a movie with the woman is horrendous, riding in a car with her is a million times worse. In order to get myself through it, I decided to tweet everything she said.  It was tough. But hilarious.

I bring you the wisdom of JaneDickey over the course of 45 minutes...(copied from my Twitter)

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turn right (repeating after the gps)

My seat is laying back. Do u feel like u r laying back? I'm reclining. What's going on?

I need handcream. Oh, I got too much handcream. Anybody need handcream? Michael, u need lotion? Oh, nevermind, I didn't get too much.

Look, bikers. ...Oooh, in n out burger.... There's the Dick's where's the Total Wine? - there it is! Was my black fleece in here somewhere?

Did u go by starbucks Bill? Oh, we don't have the mooer when the gpa sees a starbucks... MOOO... I think so&so's brother lives here.  (she actually said someone's name, but I don't know the person or the brother so the name "so&so" was my input)

Do casinos have to be on indian reservations? What reservation is this?

Did u bring the phone chgr for the car Bill? How did u remember that and not the tom tom?

What's that rattling back there? do u hear that? Wait.... there it is again? What is that?

Wait, I can't see that sign. What does it say? Anna's Linens? Oooh, there's a starbucks u just missed it.

(now she's making noise w/ her mouth)...can u reach back there & grab a bottle of water? ... Why do I have 2 in there? (dont know what she’s referring to here)

I do not like these water caps... (grunts as she opens bottle)...exit right (again repeating gps) ...do we want this exit or the next one?

Is that the exit u take to work michael? Oh, that's not very long. Look @ that cool church or temple. (its a hospital) oh, it's a hospital.

What mountains r over to the left, south. Left. Sort of. Where are santan mountains? use ur blinker. We're going east right now?

I thought we were going east. I'm all turned around. Is this gilbert? Oh, queen creek? They're so close. Look- sweet tomatoes, u could...

...U could plant a garden. Neat. This is all dug up. They haven't done any work in a yr since last time we were here. How do they not get it done?

They have all year to work on the roads here...

There's a house for rent. Ha. Chicken shack. I can't believe they haven't done anything to thesevroads

400 yards, is that this light? 4 miles??? Oh, 1/4 mile. arizona state university. (reading sign)

Is that the airport jill flew into one time? Too bad we can't get that deal anymore. What's the name of this road? what? Spell it.

here's rittenhouse. Oh power ranch neighborhood, dust complaints, what does that mean? It looks nice. Turn left (repeating gps)

So r we in queen creek or gilbert? What time did we leave? what did he just say? Oh.

is there an airport over here on the right?

Here we are back at this place. What street is this? Go straight. R we going north or south? Really?

We didn't bring our maps. We didn't do our homework. Look it up on your internet michael. (that's what I'm doing Mom)

Michael, look up directions to the olive mill. ("I am, mom, what else would I be doing?") Okay. Bill, don't u want to drive around & see area?

Aren't we on rittenhouse? Turn left out of here. This is rittenhouse right? Turn straight (not lying,she just said turn straight)

So this is called rittenhouse (the woman is obsessed w/ rittenhouse)

What golf course is this? Did you see it? I just wondered if u saw a name? what's the name of this road? So&so lives on hole 5 I don't have

Her ph#. Bummer.those r big houses. So we aren't in queen creek yet huh? Look @ that. That's cool. We're in the middle of nowhere.

Is that an open house sign? Back there on the corner? Is u see an open house, stop please ok. Unless its a dump. Or a mansion.

does that grass hurt when u kneel on it? All brown like that? When does it get green? In the spring?

Which way r we going now? East.ok ellsworth is where a lot of cool houses r. Turn right. No. Ok.look @ the oranges over there on that tree.

That'd be fun. didn't we go to this mall before bill? We got lunch or something like that remember?

We're not on rittenhouse r we? Why does the gps think we r? Lanford homes. I bet there's some models open in there.

yup. Hmm...that's where so&so goes? we're in the middle of nowhere again. This place is far. (you're telling me)

Another mormon church. They were less than 1 mile apart. Dead end. Uh oh. Now where r we going? I guess that wasn't the way to go. Burrows?

And haylift? What's that? Burrows? There's a limo. now a nice house. Now a junky house. (Laughs.)

this looks familiar. Awww. We'll have to come back bill. Look, xmas trees! How funny. How much r xmas trees in hawaii?

Pecan Creek. They have a lot land. Look how close those houses are together. Uh-oh unnamed rd? Turn right. This is Combs.

Where did we sit outside that one day? & had lunch? & mary called while we were eating? They all look the same.

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And that concludes "the JaneDickey show" for the day. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Kelsalynn