Falling apart
>> Monday, June 21, 2010
I'm glad I'm writing this now and not before I went to the gym. Not that I know anymore now than I did a few hours ago, but I'm not nearly as emotional, so that's good.
I didn't even workout at the gym, but just going helped so much. I ended up doing all of my hip and knee exercises because let me tell you, after yesterday's short run on the thrill mill, I'm definitely feeling it today. My right hip was hurting with every step I took today. I must say, since I've done my exercises, it feels a lot better, just don't tell my husband. ; )
So, what was bothering me earlier you ask?
Work. Suprised? Don't be... it's the trend these days.
And I'm not sure what to do about it. sigh
Here's what I know-I know I'm not happy. But that's the extent of my awareness these days.
I'm not sure what would make me happy. I feel like I'm having a quarter-life crisis. I'm considering working with a recruiter because I've tried twice to update my resume but just can't do it. I pull up various job posting websites and literally NOTHING looks appealing. I keep asking myself, What do I want to be when I grow up?
Any suggestions on ways to get to the bottom of this question? Books? Exercises? etc?
I don't mean to always complain about work...it's as new for me as it is for you, trust me. 6 months ago, if you would have told me I'd be feeling this way, I would have laughed at you (with you, of course).
I have been trying to hold off until November, which is when I have my 6-year ann\iversary. On that date, I'll be fully vested which is appealing, but is it worth the stress and unhappiness? And how many nights of coming home in tears is it worth? I think I've already spent too many. Now I just need to figure out how to fix it which is turning out to be easier said than done.
By the way, remember that goal I set yesterday to not work past 6pm? Already broken...
Kelsalynn
5 comments:
Kelsa,
I think that if you are unhappy with your place of work, it might just be time to move on. My sister, who is an auditor, finally took the big leap and left her employer (one of the big 4). She worked with a recruiter and found a new job within a couple weeks. She has only been working there less than a month but absolutely loves the change. Definitely something to think about. Keep your chin up, girl!
Hey Sweetie!!
Long time no type! I know I've been MIA in the blog world lately but I still check your blog EVERYDAY!!
I can TOTALLY sympathize with what you are feeling. On Friday's (and the whole weekend, for that matter) I dread Monday's because that means I have to go back to work. It makes me cringe just to pull in the parking lot and I can't get out of here soon enough!!!
Fortunately for you and Mike, and unlike a lot of us, you have done the tough work of getting your finances in order. I agree with the above comment that you just might be at that point where you need to take the leap! I would totally leave my job if we didn't depend so much on my income.
I completely know how unhappy you are and it affects so much of the rest of your life. I haven't worked out regularly since February because I've been so bummed about stuff lately. But then I get depressed because I feel like such a slug (not to mention my pants are getting tighter - ugh)
You are such an awesome person and you don't deserve to be so sad all the time!!
Now go forth and be fabulous!!!
i'm not exactly sure what you do, how you got into it etc, but if you were happy before doing what you do, chances are you can still be happy doing it, but somewhere else.
on the flipside, it's awesome that you have the financial freedom to make a vocational change. and i think it's the muckiness of your situation now that makes it hard to think about all the possibilities.
the first place i would start looking is your hobbies, skills, and passions. what do you enjoy doing even without getting paid? what have you always been good at and how can you use those skills to help people? what causes or organizations do you believe in?
look up opportunities in these fields, volunteer, talk to people who do these different things. maybe in this process you'll find another calling or maybe you'll solidify that what you already do is for you.
also, don't think about 'holding off' til november. it makes it seem like you're imprisoning yourself. recognize you have more freedom than that. get started searching (mainly within yourself) now and if a great opportunity comes before november, so be it. if not, at least you'll be vested. it's a win-win.
just my 2 cents, for what it's worth. good luck chica!
I agree with everyone else! What was all that sacrifice for and talk of Mike being unhappy and able to finally switch jobs if you won't give yourself the same luxury?
I'm telling you to go in a quit tomorrow, but you can start talking to a recruiter and putting out feelers before you take the leap. Sometimes just taking action makes the rest of it okay for awhile.
I say take the the leap. What's the point of working so much if you don't love it? Would you tell any one of us to keep coming home miserable and dreading our days? No way, you'd tell us to put our ducks in order the best we can, leave professionally, but leave!
Oiy!
It's okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. Most of us don't. We have to try on a few things before we figure out what fits.
You don't need a book, you just need a little faith.
Remember, make a choice. If you don't like it, make another one.
Uh, I meant "I'm NOT telling you...." Opps! I mean, by all means quit tomorrow if you want - you know me and Trav - we're kind of prone to flights of fancy like that and we'd totally cheer you on, but I'm guessing you'll take a slightly more mature and responsible route to quitting.
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